emptying

I know that I'll be saying more another time, but just finished a week-long institute (National Center for Death Education) and the theme that emerged for me -- personally and professionally -- was "emptying."

Listening to others, I was reminded that one of my biggest challenges is to empty myself: to listen deeply and pay attention, following the flow of others' innate wisdom. It's sometimes easier for me with friends since there are no expectations, but I often go on alert in my role as facilitator. That can get in the way. I have to step aside.

Listening to one speaker, I also revisited a period in my life -- nearly 20 years ago -- and found reassurance all these years later. It involved the suicide of someone close to me and the complexities had ensnared me for years like underwater weeds. No need to detail that here, but if you want to learn more, check the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention or call 1-888-333-AFSP. You'll find resources there for survivors as well.

Listening to myself, I realized that I can more freely let go of some of those books I've rattled on about here (under the life-heading of "clutter"). What is emerging in my life needs room to grow or at least to be explored. It can't do that without making room for it in very real ways. So I'm less resigned and more enthused about plowing through the titles I've still held onto since my last major purge. It's hard for me to let go of good things, but someone somewhere needs them so who am I to withhold? I can often check my life simply by scanning the titles on my bookshelves but with some of those two-rows-deep now there must be things -- both inside and out -- that I can't see or don't need to keep any longer.

Did I say that I'd say more later? Enough. Funny how emptying can leave you satisfied...and full.